There is a common misconception that boundaries are only used by manipulators as a mechanism of coercive control.
In reality, they are the tool by which we protect our interpersonal relationships, teams, and projects. I have heard many definitions of culture over the years. The most pragmatic definition I have stumbled across is,
"Our culture is comprised of the behaviours we reward and punish." – Gustavo Razetti.
If we want to understand why people commit to seemingly unusual individual or collective behaviors - chase the reward system. If that fails to provide a rationale - chase their fears. In order to navigate this challenging task, we need a framework to anchor from. This is where boundaries become highly relevant. They provide a framework by which people can divine 'the rules of the game.'
Fear & Uncertainty
Ask anyone to play a competitive game and they will become anxious when the rules of the game have not been adequately explained prior. It is not uncommon to promote a fear response due to situational uncertainty. This fear response triggers one's "fight, flight or freeze" response, causing an involuntary physiological response called the 'Amygdala Hijack'. The response reprioritizes the brain's allocation of cognitive resources. It does this by redirecting precious cognitive processing power (usually utilized for creativity, complex problem solving, and prioritization) and replacing it with decisive sub-conscious-led action. Simply put, when people experience uncertainty, it promotes stress. As leaders, we must be acutely aware of this physiological response. But what is a reasonable remedy for uncertainty? The answer: Structure Where we cannot predict the future, we can build systems to combat it. Where we cannot mould our environment, we can develop an approach to navigate it. Boundaries, acting as 'the rules of the game’, provide some semblance of certainty inside changing or tumultuous environments/situations. In this way, they re-unlock people's creativity and autonomy. In discussing boundaries, we will cover three different aspects:
- Personal Boundaries
- Team Boundaries
- Project Boundaries
Personal boundaries
One of the most common terms cited during divorce cases is 'resentment.' Resentment forms when people feel:
- Their expectations are not being met
- Important discussions are not being had (this can link to a lack of assertiveness)
- Regretful about past actions
An uncomfortable question that follows such breakdowns is, 'did you explicitly communicate your boundaries to your partner?' A commonly repeated response, 'it was obvious, they should have known…' If life has taught me anything at all, it is: ‘nothing is obvious.'
Project boundaries
Project management is an interesting beast both from a planning and implementation perspective. How do we ensure the best outcome while giving our people the best opportunities for growth and development?
"|When people set boundaries with you, it's their attempt to continue a relationship with you. It's not an attempt to hurt you." - Elizabeth Earnshaw
The temptation exists to bury our people and teams in endless tasks while conveniently removing their ability to make decisions at the lowest level. The 'do anything to ensure project success' narrative is convenient, seductive, persuasive, and even manipulative. Leaders and managers run the risk of micromanagement. It does not provide the required boundaries to achieve project success adequately. Or where it does manage a successful outcome, it lacks the resolution to achieve higher levels of performance by integrating a 'boundaries instead of tasks' methodology whereby we consider guiding borders in:
- Physical – Where to/not to operate
- Temporal (Time) - Deadlines
- Logistical – Resources available/not available
- Legal – Governance and compliance
- Moral and Ethical – Behaviours accepted/not accepted
- Stakeholder – Who can/cannot be communicated with
- Roles and responsibilities – The role's effect and requirements
Including such boundaries reduces endless task lists while promoting proactive decision-making and acceptance of risk at the lower levels. The flow on consequences includes increased momentum, early identification of risk and opportunity, reduced single points of failure and expedited decision-making cycles.
Conclusion
The establishment of boundaries or 'The Rules of the Game' govern how organisations and teams do what they do without constraining people to individual tasks. It is the difference between an average team and the next level – high performance.
"Boundaries will set you free." – Common military mantra
If you want micromanagement, information silos, protracted decision-making, and a cumbersome organization which is slow to adapt to an ever-changing and dynamic environment – focus on tasks. If you want proactive decision makers, increased influence, and teams capable of operating autonomously - focus on boundaries.
